New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
