Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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