I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize