he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
