So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize