I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
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