Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
it glows. i had to have it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
