Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize