i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize