i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
