There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
