Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize