Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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