remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
