Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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