The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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