do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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