I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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