He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize