I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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