so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i believe in u and ur pee
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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