remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
