she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize