break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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