You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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