so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
