hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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