the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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