we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
