You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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