new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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