so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
