the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
