tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
