Where did you get a picture of my penis
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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