when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
