feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
