I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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