Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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