Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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