i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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