I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
as a side note pls kill me
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
