He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
This baby is an asshole
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
