Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
it hurts more in the daytime
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
