She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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