Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
