Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
