you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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