he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
