btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
