paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
