Well douche your snatch and let's go!
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
