is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
