Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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