I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
