I can't breathe out the right side of my face
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
My penis needs a shock collar
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
