i just wanna soil my oats bro
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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