sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
