Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
